Expect the Unexpected 8 Tips to Surviving Redundancy
Where did my journey begin? It began when I was made redundant from work. The company I worked for decided they didn’t need my services any longer. They were relocating my team and closing the London office. I am not sure how I felt the moment I was told. Emotions swept over me in several waves. Differing emotions. Crashing into my gut every second. I had been with them for six years and for the most part I loved it. I had an awesome team, whom I had mentored, coached and befriended. Peers with whom I respected and were now friends. I had worked my way up to become one of the few female directors. I was inspiring, especially to other working women. I was passionate about what I did. I loved nothing more than to lead teams. Teams that worked efficiently together. Teams that grow and flourish. How could I not be needed?
I am a positive person. I can make something positive out of any situation. I always believed I had this personal quality. Now it was being put to the test. If I wanted confirmation of my positive mental attitude, this was it. For several days I hid under my duvet. When I finally emerged, I had a word with myself in the mirror and made a plan. A plan on how I would get through this. Here is my plan, and my 8 tips to surviving redundancy.
1. Keep your Dignity
You must keep your dignity in tack. I was so angry, I have no idea how I kept my dignity. I wanted to scream so loud, but somehow managed to suck it up, breathe in and smile. My gut instinct told me 'I got this'. Where this came from I have no idea, but I am so glad it did. I was angry on every level. The decision about my future was being made by someone else. That someone, was somewhere I didn’t want to be, yet regardless of this, the decision wasn’t mine. I smiled and was in control of my emotions, and left the room. I was preparing myself for the raging tempest about to hit my team. My team needed me strong and positive. My dignity was in tack.
2. Professionalism, Professionalism and Professionalism
At all costs remain professional. I know giving bad news is never easy. I have had to give it on many occasions over the years. We are humans, and we do not want to upset people. Yet there was something stoic and unemotional in the delivery of my bad news. It was like a management lesson on how to give bad news, emotionless and robotic. The compliment 'Sandwich' Feedback Technique', say something nice, say something bad, say something nice. I was given the second piece of devastating news when I returned from my holiday in Sri Lanka. They asked me to go on 'gardening leave'. I had finally worked through my emotions on being made redundant. I knew what I was going to do, I was feeling positive and ready to assist with the transition. I knew something wasn't right the minute I arrived at the office. Alarm bells were sounding in my gut and my instincts did not let me down. Two hours later I walked out of the office building and that was me finished, I had left the company after 6 years. Once again, my emotional well-being was put to the test. "Thank you for everything you've done, you did a great job Caroline", I simply replied, "it was my job". I had no idea where my calmness came from, but I thank goodness it did, sometimes you have to dig deep. Hold on to those screams, keep them inside and smile. Whatever happens, no matter how you feel, remain professional.
3. What do YOU want?
Number 3; take time to work out what you want. If I am honest I had been unhappy at work for a while. I am passionate about what I do, I loved my team like my children. Several peers are now, and will be friends for years to come. But I wasn't where I wanted to be. I have no idea where that 'where' was, and to this day I am still not sure. At the end of the previous year I had resigned and they persuaded me to stay. During the conversations on staying I was asked 'what do you want Caroline?' That question has stuck with me to this day. I had no idea and I was devastated that I did not have an immediate answer. I could not answer it weeks later. So, I stayed and started my MBA believing that was what I wanted. Reflecting on my resignation, my gut instinct had been right. I read a quote, "the most confused we ever get, is when we try to convince our head of something that our heart knows is a lie". This summoned up exactly how I was feeling. Redundancy was a good thing for me and has allowed me time to work through who I am and what it is I love doing. I have still not worked it out but I am enjoying the journey of getting there. Don't jump into the first thing that comes your way, take the time to breathe and think.
4. Don’t Panic Trust the Process
I spent weeks in panic mode where I applied for roles that I thought I wanted. I emailed industry recruiters to say I was available in three months, even though I knew I did not want to stay in that industry. I emailed all my old contacts, believing I would go back to advertising, an industry that I loved and enjoyed. It was all fruitless, no-body wanted to speak to me until I was available, I was in panic mode. The only thing I was sure of, was I wanted to go travelling. Everyone advised me to take timeout, it was great advice, when would I have the opportunity again. I had always wanted to travel, I had not seen enough of the world and I have always been wanderlust. But, panic had taken over. I have bills to pay and I have a cat to feed. I need a job and I need it to be waiting for me when I get back. I was trying to control everything out of my control. I have this incessant need to be in control! I finally stopped panicking, I booked a flight to New Zealand and tried to calm myself, trusting that things will always turn out the way they are meant to be.
5. Reconnect with Friend and Family
Work and my daughters had been my life and priority for 25 years. And on many occasions in the wrong order. I did not have time a lot of time for friends and family. I hadn't seen my mum in two years, she lives in New Zealand, I see my dad at family occasions. My brother is in Dubai and my sister is in Wales with my nieces and nephews, who couldn't pick me from a line out. I now had the gift of time and I used it thinking long and hard about where I wanted to be. I will always be a mother, but I also wanted to be remembered as the fun aunt, supporting sister and caring daughter. So, I planned visits, I sent messages, I reached out to family for the support I needed. My family would know when something was up, I hide away and they leave me alone until I've worked it through. This time I tried not to. I spent time with my family talking about what I wanted to do after I'd finished my 'gardening leave', and my future. My family didn't have all the answers but it was good to have their support and have them in my corner. I felt connected and supported by those whom knew all my life.
6. Keep Active
How many times have you heard that fitness is the activity to keep you sane?. That it helps clear you thoughts and put everything into perspective. I hear it all the time and I know it to be true, but it is so difficult when you are not feeling 100% wholly you. Running, cycling and yoga I love them all and had to dig deep to find the energy to get out there and do it. Exercise releases endorphins and endorphins make you happy! Remember Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, 'happy people just don't kill people'. Not that I was ever killing someone, but sticks in my mind. For the two months of 'gardening leave' I had two goals every day; make my bed and do 45 minutes of exercise. The former is a long-standing goal from boarding school and the Royal Navy. Every morning we had to make their bed. This become a well known daily objective by a US Navy Admiral, William McRaven, in an inspirational speech. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. The latter, I stuck to come rain or shine, I got out there, it wasn't easy but I ensured I completed this by lunchtime. I woke up and put on my training gear, if I then didn't go, it was laziness and a lazy girl in active wear I did not want to become. What I then did for the rest of the day didn't matter as the 'happymorphins' kept me going. I could feel smug knowing I had got out there. So keep active, do something that you enjoy, or not, but get out there, get those endorphins released.
7. Embrace the Unexpected
The unexpected is the only thing that is certain to happen. After my company had persuaded me stay with them I become complacent. I took it for granted that I was needed, and that they wanted me. But this is business, everyone is replaceable, you are never fine. I should have known this. A chance meeting on the day I was leaving for New Zealand changed my perspective. As I dropped the cat off at the 'cat hotel' I stopped and chatted to a lady who was tending to her horses. I don't know why, but she asked me what was wrong, I must have seemed very uptight. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my facial expressions are a dead giveaway on how I am feeling. I told her what had happened, and she very calmly said to me; 'embrace it, you asked for this. There is no point dwelling on what you think should have happened. It happened, now embrace the unexpected, it is the only constant in life and the only thing we can be sure will happen'. This is difficult for a control freak like me. I want to be sure of the outcome of everything, controlling and managing outcomes had been my life for 25 years. The words stuck with me all the way to the airport. I kept repeating it to myself. I boarded the plane, took a deep breath and trusted the process. This is hard for me still, and I am still trying. I feel the urge sometimes to plan, but I remind myself, one day at a time is good enough.
8. Travel Somewhere, Anywhere, but Travel
I took so much for granted and assumed I was fine for far too long, and no-one wants to be 'just' fine. I hid from life behind work, study, children and now the cat. I had wanted to travel the world as far back as I can remember. An old colleague messaged me on LinkedIn while I was away, noticing my status, he said; 'congratulations Caroline, hope you're having an amazing time, I remember you telling me you wanted to travel the world'. Do not misunderstand me, having my daughters was, and still is, the greatest gift of life. But my single regret was that I never travelled. I was in the Royal Navy but the furthest from home I travelled was to Plymouth for basic training. As a family we went on some wonderful holidays. Booking my ticket I was terrified and so I paid extra to have full flexibility. I had planned 4-months with 2-weeks at the end of the my daughters in Thailand. My travel dream was starting to come true. There is no feeling in the world that compares to escaping the rat race. Even if it is only for short time, not knowing where your journey will take you, feels exhilarating.
The final day of my 'gardening leave' came. I signed the comprise agreement. The company and I agreed to be positive about one another. I am sure we will at times struggle, I was not the easiest of people and I do speak my mind. I left the organisation with great friends and wonderful memories. But it was time for me to leave for a new beginning and for a very different chapter of my life.
I am now the other-side of the world. Experiencing things I never thought possible or even realise existed. Life is short, a cliche I know but for the first time I'm realising how short. I am not sure I have the gumption to live the life I dream of, am I too conventional? 5-years at boarding school, 5-years in the Royal Navy, 20 years in the corporate rat race. And 25 years raising my daughters. Could I break the mould. I hoped so and I will enjoy trying, always remembering that the unexpected will happen.
